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12U Q-and-A: How can I help my child set goals for the coming season?

07/28/2015, 4:30pm MDT
By USA Hockey

Q: How can I help my child set goals for the coming season?

A: As the calendar turns toward fall, it’s a good time to chat with your child about their goals for the upcoming hockey season. Even the simple act of discussing goals can position your child for success, since it gives them a focused, formal opportunity to think about what they want to accomplish and how they might accomplish it. Taking it a step further, encourage them to write their goals on paper, which will help provide clarity, and then stick it somewhere highly visible as a daily reminder, which will help them commit.

One way to start the conversation is by asking them about their summer sports season. What did they like? What didn’t they like? What role could they have played in creating more of what they liked and less of what they didn’t? Listen intently and then shift the conversation forward to hockey season. Get them talking about how they could apply those summer lessons to create the best hockey season yet.

Most importantly, however, teach your child to set process-based goals. This is one of the greatest developmental gifts you can give them, not just in athletics, but also in life.

Process-based goals keep the focus on things your child can control, which is the key to long-term high achievement and a strong mental game. For example, a process-based goal might be to shoot 25 pucks off the near post and in from 20 feet each day for a month. It’s specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and contained within a specific time frame. It’s also completely within the athlete’s control, as long as they have access to a goal frame or a metal post (even on a driveway or tennis court, if ice time is limited). Process-based goals could also include non-physical goals, like complimenting a teammate for a nice play at least once in each game this season, or refraining from complaining about a single call during the month of October. Effort goals are also process-based and valuable, since focused effort is a key ingredient in any successful endeavor and always within an athlete’s control.

The opposite of process-based goals are outcome-based goals. These are largely outside of an athlete’s control. An example would be a goal of winning 20 games this season or scoring 30 goals. These kinds of goals aren’t as productive for athletes. They don’t correlate closely with how success will be achieved and they’re tied tightly to circumstances outside an athlete’s control. That’s a recipe for frustration and disappointment. What if there’s an injury? What if a teammate or linemate quits? What if the officials blow a call? What if your child’s stick breaks when they’re about to score their 30th goal and they finish the season with 29? Does that mean they failed? In an outcome-based goal structure, the answer is yes; they failed to achieve that goal. But if the goals are process-based instead, they can succeed in spite of adversity and uncontrollable circumstances, while also giving themselves a tangible blueprint for steady improvement.

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