ADM Kids

Q: My child was cut from the A team and placed on the B team, and I feel the coaches got it wrong. How do I handle this?

A: First, know that these situations arise in every sport and at every level, so remember that you’re not the first, last or only parent to experience this. Do your best to keep it in perspective. In the grand scheme of things, your child being cut from a 10U team and being assigned to another team isn’t the end of his or her hockey career. Countless players have been cut at young ages and gone on to play in college, the NHL or the Olympics.

Now, in many cases like this, parents have the most favorable view possible of their child’s ability. They see only the very best in their performance and they aren’t as perceptive when it comes to their weaknesses. Most of all, they worry that their child will miss out on an important opportunity if they aren’t on the top team.

Ninety-nine percent of the time, coaches, evaluators and associations honestly and accurately place kids in the right skill bracket. As a parent, it’s critical to take a step back and truthfully access your child’s ability and where he or she is as a player mentally and physically. Ultimately, you want your child in an age-appropriate and developmentally appropriate environment where they can have fun and develop their skills fully – even if that’s the B team. In the long run, that will benefit them more than a less developmentally appropriate season on the A team.

Too many times you see families driving long hours to find a program that will take their child on the top team because they feel that is what’s best, either for exposure or development or both. But finding exposure for a 10U player shouldn’t be a concern, and the lessons learned from being in the appropriate skill bracket are more valuable than being underutilized on the A team.

For parents whose children might have been reassigned from the A team to the B team, it’s important to have a calm, respectful conversation with the coach or evaluators and ask where they feel the child needs improvement. Gather as much specific skill-related feedback as possible, then help the child improve those aspects of their game. And as a parent, if you’re unsure how to facilitate that particular kind of skill development, ask for specific recommendations.

If after that conversation, the parent still feels there was a gross injustice done to their child, then they should take it up with the appropriate member of the association board of directors.

Lastly, it can’t be emphasized enough that playing at the appropriate level will benefit a child more than playing at a level that is higher than where they belong. Many players even at the NHL level didn’t play on the “top” team until they were 17 or 18 years old; some even later. Every athlete has their own path, and it’s important for parents to recognize that the best path for their child isn’t necessarily the same path as others might take. At the end of the day, if the child is in the proper environment for skill development and enjoyment, everything else will fall into place at the right time.