ADM Kids

Joe Bonnett was the right person to call.

Bonnett, a Player Development Manager for USA Hockey, always has thoughtful perspectives and good information about the game.

But in this case and this subject, he also had recent personal experience.

The idea: How can we ensure that youth hockey players and their families are savoring their seasons during what can feel like a grind?

“It’s funny you bring that up,” Bonnett says. “The youth team I coach just finished its season. We had a lot of fun, and the coaches started hanging out on Tuesday nights after practice. And that topic came up last week.”

Here are some of his takeaways:

Bonnett was coaching his daughter’s 14U AA team, and they had a successful season.

“We talked about the great season and wondered: Why did it mean so much to everyone?” he says.

One thing he noticed is that the team wasn’t afraid to celebrate its success and appreciate the positives.

“From a season perspective, not so much a career perspective, we’re getting used to having average seasons,” Bonnett says. “When you do have a good season, you have to smell the roses. It’s OK to celebrate things. You have to in life. It’s OK to celebrate good things. It’s OK, but we’re always onto the next thing.”

That goes right into Bonnet’s second point about savoring the season: stay in the moment and resist the urge to hit fast-forward.

That’s good life advice, and it works for hockey as well.

“It’s important to really stay focused on the whole season. So many people bail ship after Christmas. But there is so much development after that,” Bonnett says. “Is our season long? Yes. Is it expensive and stressful? Yes. Is it a lot of time? Yes. But don’t be in a rush to get to the next thing. At Christmas, don’t be asking what are we doing in the spring? Who cares. … To rush through it and throw seasons away just makes no sense.

One thing that was reinforced for Bonnett during his daughter’s season is that winning is fun, but a season is about so many other things than just a team’s record.

“We enjoyed the wins. But what are some of the other takeaways. Life lessons. What did going to the rink, having good attendance, participating in the off-ice program, being a good teammate, why did that lead to a good season? What do those skills offer going forward?” Bonnett says. “A lot of parents will say I pay this much money, and I want this many games. Hockey delivers in different ways. Your kid has to get up and go to school tired after a road trip. How do you deal with losing? That’s part of life. How to time manage, how to be a good teammate. If they have done that, you should reflect and grow during a season.”

And all the things along the way make a season special.

“I’m a huge believer in savoring the hotels, the car rides with the kids, the late nights and early mornings. For hockey families, that’s the magic of the game,” Bonnett says. “The girls weren’t sad because they lost. They were disappointed. But they were sad because the team and the friendships, those have an end point. The season is a grind, but if you never look around and see how special it is, why those kids are enjoying it, you are missing out.”

And finally, Bonnett encourages everyone to appreciate everything they have. One of the reason his girls’ team had such a great year was that it was their first year having a dedicated locker room and coaches. They didn’t have to jump around from team to team to find ice time and games.

“We take that for granted on the boys’ side,” Bonnett says. “We’re always saying next year is going to be better. No, you have to make this year better.”

Because it will come to an end. And sometimes the end of a season is the end of a youth career.

“It flies by, 100 percent. It’s amazing,” Bonnett says. “My middle son just finished his playing career. When it’s done it gets quiet really fast.”